I Actually Did It....Chemo Grad 2010!

I can finally say I have successfully finished 6 rounds of chemotherapy and I am done with that part of my treatment....THANK YOU GOD SOOOOO MUCH! If I didn't have the next 5 days of feeling like crap to look forward to I would go out and celebrate...lol. Every time I even think about the fact that I don't have to do chemo again I want to cry tears of joy. A couple times I thought I would not make it - no way, no how, felt like giving in and giving up....but He didn't let me and I am just so happy I made it this far. The journey is not over...but a major part of it is behind me. Must go drink water and sleep now....plus I  have a very tired 15 month old boy to put to bed....will update soon!

Give Thanks...

I am Thankful....

Thankful that I am able to wake up in the morning
Thankful that I can hug my two wonderful kids
Thankful I have a house to go home to
Thankful I have a bed to sleep in at night
Thankful I have friends to keep me motivated and positive
Thankful I have a job to drag my butt to everyday
Thankful I have the most amazing family anyone could ever ask for
Thankful I have people that genuinely love me and care about my well being
Thankful for my doctors, my nurses, my health insurance
Thankful that God gives me the strength to keep fighting when I feel like giving up
Thankful I am even able to type this right now

And above all this I am Thankful that, for the first year of my life, I can honestly say I know what it means to be Thankful and to realize your blessings...I always thought I knew, but I didn't....now I do.

Thank you

Do I REALLY have to go???

I am sitting here waiting for Megan, my wonderful friend, who has volunteered  to be my chemo date for today. Chemotherapy treatment #5...ohh, how I have dreaded you but looked forward to you at the same time. I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach at the mention of the word chemotheraphy but I only have 2 more left...and after today I can say 1 more to go!! That excites me. As much as the thought of never ever having to do anything like this again hopefully ***knocks on wood** If I could, I would act like a little kid, kick and scream and hide in my closet to not have to go to this appointment. I am such a baby...I need to suck it up and face it head on, with a smile. Maybe there will be some cute bald guy in the chemo chair next to me that I can relate to...haha...a girl can wish can't she???

In a hurry, but don't want to miss a thing....

I cannot wait for these next 2 months to be over for alot of reasons....

1. My last chemotherapy treatment is December 10th....THANK YOU LORD!!!!!
2. No more saline fills into the tissue expanders....woohoo!!!
3. Less doctor appointments for alittle while
4. Bloodwork less often :)
5. Back to the crazy, sleepless schedule of working 2 jobs...yes, that's right....I miss my second job :(

I am really excited because my plastic surgeon is set to do surgery in January to put the implants in and finish reconstruction....before radiation. Which is wonderful for me because I thought I was going to have to deal with these expanders until at least March. I am counting down the days til surgery like a kid waiting for Christmas.

But as much as I would like to sleep thru these next two months to get to January....this is my favorite part of the year and I am not wanting to miss out on any family gatherings, special events and holiday parties. If only I could be done with all this before next week...lol...in a perfect world.
I know He already knows what I want for Christmas but GOD PLEASE MAKE ME HEALTHY AGAIN....Amen

Me and the kiddos on Halloween

Thank God It's NOT Friday...

I have begun to really hate Fridays. Friday used to be one of my favorite days of the week. Even though I am usually working 17 hrs on Fridays, it was always fun. Now I begin to get a sinking feeling in my stomach every 3rd week when Friday starts to roll around. Nothing like knowing once I get in that chair for chemo on Friday that I am going to feel like crap for 7 days days. I wish I could skip it all together. Half of me is saying "woohoo, only 3 more treatments to go!" and the other half is saying "There is no way I can put myself thru this 3 more times!" When January rolls around and all of these lovely chemo dates are off my calender I am going to throw myself the biggest freakin party people will wonder what the heck is wrong with me!

Sweet Home Chicago!

Let me start by saying Cycle 3 of Chemo was by far the worst one yet. With that being said, I was hell bent on feeling better by the time our plane took of on Thursday the 14th. Day 3-6 of the week after treatment were pretty bad, I felt like crawling under a rock. I asked my co-worker Heather to just kill me know and put me out of my misery...several times...thankfully, she didn't listen to me. But, when it was time to make the trip to Chicago for my cousin Mike's wedding. all the side effects seemed to fade away in the nick of time. It was a great trip...alittle short...but great. The wedding itself was just beautiful. Aiden was the best little travel buddy ever. It's times like these, when all the family comes together, it makes you realize just how blessed you are. I am so fortunate to have the family I have, and it gets taken for granted too often. Not many people can say they have such a close, loving relationship with their family. And even more so now, because of what I am going thru, I realize that you have to give thanks for the things we seem to just think are suppose to be. I really didn't want to come back to Florida. I love living near the ocean, and the weather, and my friends here...but I wasn't ready to come back. I know part of it was that we still didn't get to see all the family we needed to, and there is always so much to do when you are on vacation....just one week more would have been great. But also it was, for me, the realization that my journey with cancer is far from over. Being away from the doctors and needles and everything for four days made me feel as close to normal as I was going to get. It was nice to be focused on something else for a change and be away from reality. But, all good things must come to an end...and life must go on. Man....reality sucks sometimes.

The many faces of Jessica

Here are just some of the wigs I have been playing around with - found some crazy deals and ended up with a nice selection - trying something new almost everyday...gotta find fun in someting, right? MOre pics to come in future :)

Mid/Long Bown with highlights...cute with headbands

Black Mid/Long...very "sexy"

Still on the fence about this one - first time ever close to a blonde!

One of my favs...like the haircut I had before hair loss...brown short

Yep, definite fav

Get the most compliments on this one...short brown with copper highlights

I also have a brown curly one, a long light brown, a long dark brown/maroon highlights with bangs, a brown mid length with bangs, a brown one that looks like a mullet so I have to wear hats over it (dont always go for the cheap ones, lol) ...and I am searching for the perfect platinum blonde, long with bangs....think Lady Gaga...why the heck not, right?