Treatment #1 Down...and so am I

Ok, so no one said this was going to be a walk in the park, but I have only had one treatment and I feel like butt...lol. On Friday I showed up with bells on to receive my first round of Taxotere and Cytoxan, no big deal. Me and mom sat for three and a half hours as the medication ran its course. The port is a wonderful invention, one stick and no discomfort...I am all for that. And honestly, I left thinking that this was just as easy as could be. We got lunch, went home and I layed down. The whole weekend was a blur. The only way I can describe how I felt, and how I continue to feel, is like when you are just coming down or getting over the flu. Foggy head, tired, food has no appeal, just want to lay down but can't stand being in bed...it is very strange. I know I am on edge, and not myself. As I am sitting here typing this I feel like my head is in the clouds...and not in a good way. I am hungry, but don't even want to think about food really...I have been trying to drink lots of water, to flush the drugs out, and just keep my head up. I had a breakdown on Saturday...emotions are high...feels like I am very alone and all of a sudden the strength that has carried me through kind of disappeared...I knew this was going to happen, I have expected it all along, but it doesn't make it easier...very depressed feeling. This makes me doubt myself even more, because they say the treatments only get worse....GREAT, if this is the easiest, how the hell am I gonna make it thru Decemeber?? I am not looking forward to the Neulasta injection I am scheduled for today...it ups your white cell count, but I have heard the side effects (bone pain, etc) is no fun. Wish this was more upbeat but sorry folks, just not feeling it today. Oh, and P.S. wigs suck....all of them...they all look like crap...just FYI.